Balls of Steel: The new ban?

09May08

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Florida lawmakers have been been facing a serious, urgent issue these past several weeks: Should we outlaw ornamental testicles?

Sen. Carey Baker thinks the steel balls, often found hanging from bumpers, are “obscene”. State Sen. Steve Geller, however, thinks the idea ludicrous. “I find it shocking that we should be telling people that have the metallic bull testicles…you’re now going to have points on your license for this,” said Geller.

Gov. Charlie Crist has not yet expressed whether he would sign the bill, though he claims that sometimes the not-so-dire issues are sometimes a priority. “It’s good to have some things that maybe aren’t quite as serious. Got to have a little levity,” said the governor.

Oh yes, never mind those pesky little issues like rising property taxes or energy problems; we need to pay attention to more pressing matters, like banning decorations!

-Jillian Rios

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