FOTW Update: Oh no she didn’t!


Isn’t it just so adorable when bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (read: leopard shorts and ironic boots) college kids learn about post-modernism and the whole world’s lack of truth and meaning just makes SO MUCH DAMN SENSE given how they were so misunderstood as teenagers and that they really haven’t figured out yet whether they want to be a lawyer or maybe join the peace corps after graduation, and everything’s just so damn hard!??! And then they get up on a soapbox and holler to everyone else about it with their cute little 21-year-old-lungs?

After a long day of outraged internet twitter Yale finally issued a statement last night that art major Aliza Shvarts has in fact not spent the last nine months impregnating herself and inducing abortions, collecting the bloody evidence in plastic and on video tape for her senior thesis:

Ms. Shvarts is engaged in performance art…She stated to three senior Yale University officials today, including two deans, that she did not impregnate herself and that she did not induce any miscarriages. The entire project is an art piece, a creative fiction designed to draw attention to the ambiguity surrounding form and function of a woman’s body.

Oh, SIKE! Good one, Liz! Except that, then, even later last night, because she apparently wasn’t ready to forfeit the limelight, Shvarts told the Yale Daily News oh yes, she did:

Shvarts reiterated Thursday that she repeatedly use a needleless syringe to insert semen into herself. At the end of her menstrual cycle, she took abortifacient herbs to induce bleeding, she said. She said she does not know whether or not she was ever pregnant.

“No one can say with 100-percent certainty that anything in the piece did or did not happen,” Shvarts said, “because the nature of the piece is that it did not consist of certainties.”

The one remaining question is whether the stereotypical angry-riot-grrl outfit and soapbox stance is part of the “performance.” As Slate put it: “In a single attention-getting move, she’s managed to make the pro-choice movement, feminism, performance art, and Yale all look bad at the same time.” Add to that angry riot grrls and ironic boot wearers. I hope Shvarts is really a khaki-wearing member of the Young Republicans, in which case this was truly a brilliant coup.

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