Swallow This


Extraneous products that claim to fix problems you didn’t know you had: they’re not just for females any more! Twice in the past week friendly strangers have emailed to inform me of the existence of two different “semen enhancing” products on the market. The first was Semenex, a drink mix that’s supposed to make a guy’s wad taste better. This one is meant to be a thoughtful gesture for the ladies (or, whomever is doing the swallowing) though personally I’d be sort of creeped out if a dude’s wad had a flavor and/or extra calories. The second was WonderCum, which is a “supplement” that supposedly increases the volume of one’s ejaculate thus eliminating “many” unnamed “men’s health problems” and “impress(ing) your partner with a huge cumshot!” Is this something dudes actually have insecurities about? They will now—if they dutifully read their spam.

Anyway, I got to thinking. While separately these products might be underwhelming, if you combined them you might really be on to something. You’d have one sweet tasting super stud, shooting veritable milkshakes all over the place! It’d be like having your own personal dessert cow, that you could just milk whenever you felt like it. Now if only they’d invent a supplement that gave semen a caffeine – ginseng – guarana infusion, we’d be on to something.

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